For seven and a half months I waited, growing ever more anxious about what the future would hold for me and the life that was growing inside of me. I had never taken care of a baby before and had only held a baby once. I was pretty much clueless other than knowing that they poop, cry, and have a demanding presence.
Now that I have had my little girl Lilah for about 14 weeks, I have learned that babies are certainly so much more (but of course the poop, cry, and demanding presence is just a start).
Never could I have imagined loving a human being like the way I love my daughter. I don’t mind the drool on my arms, or the spit up on the front of my shirt. I will gladly get that stray booger with my finger, bite her finger and toenails, and I have found that diaper changing isn’t really a big deal tome at all, even with a smelly and huge load that greets me once every few days. I can honestly tell you that I would do anything for my little girl. Knowing the love of being a mom has changed me, and helped shape me into a way more empathetic person.
Now, Lilah hasn’t always been a ray of sunshine. Since that first week she would have crying episodes everyday, several times a day. Most of the time she was inconsolable. Then suddenly she wouldnt nurse without being extremely fussy! So I had to call in the public health nurse Joanne, who is also an international board certified lactation consultant. She visits me at home once a week, and when I initially told her about my nursing issue, she observed and then told me she thought it might be reflux. So the next step was to change my diet, omitting wheat, dairy, soy, and peanuts to see if that would make my baby cry less.
Fast forward three days from the start of my diet: I feel so fricken hungry and rice and black beans have become my new food staple. I didn’t notice any change in Lilah so I cheated on the diet.
Fast forward another week: Lilah’s crying has drastically decreased and taken place by a squealing and smiling baby that observes. Sure there is still some random amount of fussiness everyday still, but at least I can console her.
Joanne says that usually around three months is when the mystery crying ends for most babies. I am surely grateful that it has with Lilah, because more than a few times I found myself crying along with her.
As for the topic of my lack of posts, there is a simple answer that has nothing to do with the arrival of my little girl. Our laptop needs to be fixed. For years the screen has been broken on it, so we used a cable to extend the screen to a different monitor. Then one day the spot where the cable is inserted just stopped working on the laptop. So I had to just say goodbye to the Internet for a while, and it was pretty easy considering I had my arms full of baby all day long.
The laptop still doesn’t work, but my mom sent me an iPod touch as a late Christmas gift, and so it’s been a mini savior. I can now share pictures with my relatives that live far away, and look up any random baby questions that I happen to think of. It’s a tad annoying using the touch screen to type since I am so used to hearing a sound every time I press my finger down on a letter key. So writing a post hasn’t been as fast as it could have been (I am a speed typer).
I hope to share more with future posts. I will aim for once a week. 🙂