I’ve been very lazy about writing in this blog. Several times over the past few weeks I’ve thought about WordPress, but then went to Facebook or Tumblr instead. I just didn’t feel inspired to write anything. It felt like it would be a chore.
Fortunately, crafting isn’t a chore to me! I’ve been working on a crocodile stitch messenger bag, from a pattern I found on Ravelry. I mostly started working on it because I can’t stand the fact that my current purse cannot be slung over my chest. I almost feel naked that I cannot do this.
Here is the progress…
Also, I’ve been been inspired to draw, which feels wonderful. Here is a blurry picture of a sketch that I plan to scan later and turn into a Photoshopped masterpiece…
As I approach the last month of my pregnancy, I am growing more anxious and terrified. Giving birth isn’t what scares me, it’s the fact that I will be a parent. I will be the very thing that I took for granted growing up. I never had a very close relationship with my mom, and didn’t know my dad all too well until recently. Not having the greatest of examples, I have to be the best kind of mom I can be based on what I know from watching other women interact with their children. I have only held a baby once in my life, and boy were my arms tired after about 10 minutes. I am sure a newborn baby will weigh much less, and that I will carry her no matter how tired my arms are.
The reality that I have a little girl inside me is one that flickers on and off. Sometimes I can completely let myself forget when I am wrapped up in my art, but other times it’s the only thing I can see. When I look back on my life, I can’t see anything that I have possibly done that is meaningful. Having this baby will be the first meaningful thing I will ever do, and raising her will become my life. Art has always been my life, but it’s going to have to take the backseat for a while, and I am honestly scared of that. Maybe I will be so happy to have my baby that I will just forget about it for a while. It’s just that lately I feel so inspired to complete art, now that I have decided to try out the digital realm using Photoshop. It takes forever to finish anything vexeled, however, and through this I hope to encourage some sort of patience to grow inside of me.
Next Wednesday on the 6th I will turn 22 years old. I do not feel old. How can age or number matter, or have mattered to me so much as I grew up? Now that I am almost completely done with being 21, turning any other higher number just doesn’t seem exciting. Sure it’s fun to celebrate one’s birthday, it has a lot of meaning, but the number part seems pointless. Counting years… how accurate is that anyway? The experience in just a year can feel like 10 years, or can feel like only a few days. The past 4 years feel like weeks to me, sometimes.
Ever since I got a hold of Photoshop CS4, I have been experimenting with it’s tools everyday. Last week I learned how to make brushes from this awesome tutorial and since then have made brushes out of nearly every brush worthy photo I have on this computer. Then I proceeded to watercolor some random blotches, and then scan them, making brushes out of those too. It’s been very fun so far.
Yesterday I was doing my usual random internet thing, when I stumbled across “vexeling”. Click here for a good example that I found inspirational to look at. It reminded me of something I tried to do years ago with Paint Shop Pro. I wouldn’t dare touch Photoshop, for some reason the program seemed intimidating to me at the time. However, looking at these vexels, I feel inspired to try my hand at it again, except this time the proper way, utilizing the pen tool.
Hopefully I will become a pen tool master, and in doing so I see so many different ways to bring new life to my own hand drawn art. Right now I am practicing on a picture I found in stock photos on DeviantArt, but I hope once I get the hang of it, to move onto vexeling some drawings of mine.
A little more than five weeks left before the due date. I am trying to make the most of my time just doing what I find to be relaxing and fun, because I know that once she is born, she will be my focus.
I plan on using a baby carrier to hold her to my chest at all times. I cringe when I see people lug around those gigantic carseats with a baby inside. It would seem much easier to just strap the baby to yourself either in a carrier or in a sling. That way both hands are available, and the baby gets used to movements in all directions, and they are more comfortable that way as well.
It’s been so long since I finished a drawing, months and months probably. I had a huge crochet addiction for a while there, but then that tapered off and I started to dream about drawing. So I went ahead and finished this, which I started a few months ago. It took me about the past two weeks of drawing on and off, and I finished it today. Here it is.
The colorfulness is actually made from gluing pieces of crayola crayon wrappings to make a collage. My friend Sofia and I had made muffin pan crayons, and there was so much leftover wrappings, I didn’t want them to go to waste. I still have quite a bit of wrappings left, I wonder what I should use them for next?
I have been getting braxton hicks contractions the past two weeks or so. My uterus will randomly harden for about 10-15 seconds, then become soft again. It’s only mildly uncomfortable. I have also been having a lot of dreams recently in which she is either kicking out of me, or just coming right out of me in one push of labor. I honestly hope she is not an early baby. As much as I want to meet her, my living situation needs to be fixed before she is born! Of course, babies make their own schedule.
After many months, I finally downloaded the drivers to my scanner, then uploaded a good portion of my finished drawings. I put them up on my website, that was art-less until just yesterday.
Click here to check out the site!
Also, those “rare” walks alone are now becoming less rare. I found a nice spot nearby to walk, that is mostly filled with trees.